Author bios are horrible to read.  Here’s Sean’s chili recipe instead.

Buy this…

  • 2 Chicken Breasts, boneless & skinless
  • 2 Portuguese Chorizo Sausages, spicy
  • 1 Tray of Stewing Beef, standard size
  • 1 Big Can of Red Kidney Beans
  • 1 Big Can of White Kidney Beans
  • 1 Big Can of Chickpeas
  • 1 Big Can of Whole Tomatoes
  • 2 Little Cans of Diced Green Chilies
  • 1 Budweiser Tall Boy
  • 1 Big Hot Pepper, gnarled and angry looking
  • 1/2 Half Bag of Frozen Corn
  • Shredded Cheddar Cheese, plenty of it
  • Cayenne Pepper
  • Cumin

Do this…

  1. Cut Sausage into 1/2″ cubes.  Add those cubes to a big ol’ pot, begin to cook over medium-low heat.
  2. Cut Chicken and Beef into 1/2″ cubes.  Season liberally with Cayenne Pepper.  Toss Chicken and Beef into the pot.
  3. Finely dice the angry looking Hot Pepper, add it to the pot.
  4. Add both cans of Green Chilies to the pot, do not drain.
  5. Stir until Beef is browned and Chicken is, uh, looking cooked.
  6. Take a big sniff, enjoy clear sinuses.
  7. Add White Kidney Beans, Red Kidney Beans, Chickpeas and Tomatoes, do not drain.
  8. Pour in Budweiser, marvel at the strange orange foam.
  9. Add two tablespoons of Cumin.
  10. Stir it all together.  Lower heat a little and let simmer for two hours, come back to the kitchen periodically to stir.
  11. After simmering for two hours, add a big handful of Shredded Cheddar.  Stir it in, let it all simmer for another hour.
  12. After that hour passes, add another big Cheddar handful along with the Frozen Corn. Stir again, wait for another hour.
  13. Take Chili off the stove, transport it to the nearest Chili Cook-Off.
  14. Make a dismissive wanking motion when some boring know-it-all tells you that ‘authentic’ Texas chili doesn’t have any beans.  Roll eyes emphatically.
  15. Win that Chili Cook-Off.